Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
