is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
