The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
