Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
