Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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