butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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