Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
