Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
