Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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