i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
