By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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