I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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