I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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