Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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