She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
