You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
