The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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