If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
