Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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