All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
