Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
