oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
mondays should just be called national damage control day
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
