We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
