you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
