you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
