So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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