It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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