Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
