I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
