it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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