Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
