her vagine was all disorganized.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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