After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
