Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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