haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
