she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
