I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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