So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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