yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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