Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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