you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
