The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Randomize
