I love black thongs
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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