arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
