Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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