My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
