According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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