he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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