Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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