uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
