I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
