What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
